Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Films of 2015 Part One!

So here is MY opinion of what were the best films released in 2015. 

First it's worth to know a couple of things. Bear in mind that I work full time with a wife and child. I'm also not a film critic hence I have not seen every film released this year. That means films such as Steve Jobs, Black Mass and even Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 have not had a chance to inflict praise as I haven't seen them yet and maybe never will as I will prioritise 2016 movies over older ones.

Some who read my last post will already know that Mad Max Fury Road just missed out on the top 10, while I'm as surprised as anyone, I simply found the following 10 films more entertaining and/or more captivating, emotional, funny or tense. MMFR is a great film and I've watched it three times to be safe but it remains out of the running. Sorry to my brother from another mother.


Anyway here we go...


No.10



Sicario

Emily Blunt is a solid performer in anything that she does but nothing can be doubted about that fact after seeing Sicario. A character strong willed but ultimately emotionally charged and vulnerable, smart yet stubborn, sassy but also naive. From the director of 2013's brilliant kidnapping drama Prisoners, this could be seen as a natural sequel to Steven Soderburgh's Traffic. The drug trade is as vibrant as ever and as the cartels think of new ways to get the product out to the masses, governments can only slow down the process. The one thing that sets this apart from being a solid 3* film is the cinematography. It is sublime, the best looking film of the year by far! It's almost another character in the movie. Sicario's not perfect, the ending in my opinion makes sure of that, but just like with the real life drug war, an ending is nowhere in sight.

See also : Traffic (2000).

No.9


Unfriended

All the following films have a certain calibre and known talent behind them meaning that they had more of a chance to be on this list. Unfriended is not one of those films, it was a complete and utter surprise to me that this made the ten but when I paired it up to the runners up, this won each time. But why?
A cyber thriller told through the constant gaze of a Apple Mac and its various pieces of software (Facebook, Skype etc) we find ourselves in the middle of a online group chat featuring a group of high school friends. Except that a recently deceased classmate is taunting them from beyond the grave. Or could it just be an elaborate prank? High concepts flicks can be disasters (Nick of Time, Pixels) but history shows they can provide a level of entertainment that can supersede any other genre if executed properly (Panic Room, Phone Booth). I watched this on my iPad on my daily commute to work (along with two others on this list) and I couldn't wait until my lunch so I could finish the film off. A hidden gem if ever there was one.

See also: Project Almanac, Catfish.

No.8


It Follows

Actress Maika Monro made the list last year with 2014's The Guest and she charts once more here with a sexually charged horror film if ever there was one. The concept is simple, A supernatural entity is following people with the sole purpose to kill them. The only way to stop it? Have sex with someone to pass the curse onto them. Who doesn't wanna watch that!? To make things more tense, the entity in question simply walks towards you, they don't hide, they don't stop, they don't check their email. They are relentless. Catch a train to escape it? They will simply walk the distance to get you even if it takes 2 weeks. That's the terrifying thing about It Follows. The gore in the film is minimal because it doesn't need to be, it also asks certain questions about how you would save yourself even if it means knowingly putting someone else in danger.

See also : Ringu

No.7


Cop Car

Last year, Snowpiercer made my top 10 and I said then the film was not yet released in the UK. That is still the case, even the DVD copy you can buy are imported. Cop Car is likely to fall in this category and as such may not appear in many of any top ten lists but it makes mine. Two kids running away from home come across an abandoned cop car and take it on a gentle joyride playing out their adventures for real. Except the car belongs to corrupt beat cop Kevin Bacon who was busy committing the very crimes he sworn to prevent. A sequence of events pits the desperate police officer against two children who are unaware as to what danger they have walked in on. Cop Car is completely understated featuring a bare bones cast (18 entire cast members, 3 of which are dogs). It has the kind of ending that enfuriates the missus but the hard hitting nature of a plot featuring revenge and murder is only more intense when children are involved.

See also : Good Kill

No.6


Amy

The only documentary you need to see this year. I'm no real fan of Amy Winehouse although I can admit to seeing her as a support act many years ago. But just as I had no vested interest in Aryton Senna, the recent documentary gave me a new insight into the racing legend and this is just as, if not better. Here we see a girl who was partially damaged from a young age whose rise to fame only fanned the flames of her addictive and self destructive personality. Her parents are sculpted to look partly to blame and it's hard not to agree given the facts. Her true friends are cast aside for heroin and alcohol and a dream duet with childhood hero Tony Bennett is painful to watch even when brilliance sneaks through that trademark beehive hairdo. We all know the ending to this tragic life and it even sneaks up on us but it's still captivating and you get the feeling that even if we got in a time machine and warned Amy of her future, things may have turned out exactly the same.

See also : Senna, Cobain : Montage of Heck.

No.5



Big Hero 6

The closest Disney have come to making a Pixar quality film. Which is strange seeing as Disney effectively own Pixar. Additionally, Pixar's head honcho Bob Lassiter has been given charge over both animation studios so the recent success with Tangled and that let it go movie isn't much of a surprise. This is a strange one to add to the list morally because it's the one I've seen 46 times. This is 97.7% down to the 3 year old child that has seemingly nested in my house and for a 2 month period wanted nothing else but to watch the cuddly white robot named Baymax. The design of the movie is an interesting choice mixing the location of San Fransisco (another Pixar trait) with Tokyo injected architecture, which isn't hardly explained in the movie itself but is divulged on the greatest of movie geek assets, the IMdB trivia page.
Excuses aside, BH6 is a great film and appeals to the classic Pixar market...children and adults.

See also : The Incredibles, How to Train Your Dragon.

No.4



Kingsman : The Secret Service

Matthew Vaughn's latest venture into adapted comic books after (Xmen First Class and Kick Ass) and also his best. The big difference between this and other spy movies of the year (Spectre, Man from Uncle, Spy, Mission Impossible) is the risk of making it an edgier, more violent affair. As much as the 12A certificate has allowed more violence, it's still more about what you think you saw rather than what you actually saw. In Kingsman, you SEE it. The church scene alone is one of the best action sequences in recent years and the finale is outrageously and gloriously OTT along with a very very risqué joke that James Bond would shudder at. But overall, it's just a real joy to watch and fun, which is the whole point. There's only so many dead inside, broken man, nothing to lose spies we can watch where as the only thing this wants to do is save the world and look good doing it.

Next week - The top 3






Saturday, 14 November 2015

Films of 2015 - Honourable Mentions

Below are a handful of Four-Star films that I really enjoyed but didn't blow me away to squeeze into my list. 

The Martian

One of the more regrettable entries simply because it was a fun ride that could have easily been downbeat. Matt Damon exudes a sense of humour alongside the need to survive on Mars after being stranded. The end was a bit generic which is a shame compared to the rest of the ride.

John Wick

Keanu is back...maybe.
One of the surprises of the year was a film about a hitman who goes on a killing spree after his dog is killed. The action choreography is worth a watch alone. A sequel has already been greenlit.

Danny Collins

Honest to God, the best Al Pacino film since Heat. An aging, over the hill crooner is given a chance to find his creativity again when he is given a well overdue letter from John Lennon. I recognise it's a bit light, maybe too light in subject matter but the charm and against type character that Pacino delivers was a refreshing change.

Mad Max: Fury Road

The one I expect to be called a gobshite for. As I've mentioned earlier, this post is for really good films that didn't make the list so I did view this as a solid entertaining film. I just didn't see a life changing one that others did. Kinda just felt like Waterworld with cars. Not that there's anything wrong with Waterworld (yes it's good) but there was 10 better films this year than this. In my humbled opinion. I've seen it twice as well but not going to be drawn by the more universal choice.

Antman

Antman benefited, like Iron Man with a blank canvas and the ability to tell its own story without worrying too much about the Marvel Cinematic Universe and its plot strands. Any cameos or in jokes were merely a bonus. We will never know how the Edgar Wright version would of turned out but I found it very amusing, inventive and peppered with heart. Avengers : Age of Ultron was good but this trumps it as the Marvel film of 2015.

Next week...
my films of the year - No.10 - No.4


Thursday, 29 October 2015

Films of 2015 - The Worst

These are the 5 films of 2015 that burnt my retinas, burst my eardrums and soiled my mind-grapes. These should be avoided at all costs for risk of death.

In no particular order...

1. Terminator Genesis, Genysys, Gen... Terminator - fuck the future!


In a year where the geek world reminisced about Back to the Future and the way they have managed to keep their legacy untainted, Arnold seems intent on crapping an Austrian Oak all over his once beloved franchise. The last two attempts (Rise of the Machines and Salvation) didn't do the brand any favours but at least the big picture was  still present. Genisys has decided to basically press the reboot button with the end of a cinematic pencil. I could go on but this movie doesn't deserve it. If you loved T1/T2, you probably have already seen Genisys and realised this for yourself but if for any reason you haven't. Don't. Like a gory car crash, you may simply HAVE to watch it but I will save you the trouble. No one dies! 

2. True Story


Beyond dull.
True life story about a child killer and a disgraced journalist. Because both Franco and Hill are playing against type naturally means we're programmed to believe that their performances are amazing. But I was utterly bored out my head. True story.

3. Fantastic Four


What the serious fuck!?
A friend of mine tried to suggest to me that this is a alright film. Believe me, it isn't. I'll accept that adapting this comic book is difficult in itself. We all flock to dark broody comic book movies and fantastic four is generally more jolly and colourful. With that in mind, director Josh Trank opted to follow the dark knight and the man of steel down to their level. The issues are countless but one is that these four characters are meant to be an escape from the darkness of other stories.
The other issues with the film are pretty inexcusable. Bear in mind I have no issue ruining the plot here because the plot is thin as balls. The 'fantastic four' don't become fantastic until the 53rd minute of the film....53rd! The film is around 90mins long. So that leaves 37 minutes to recover, sulk, experiment and finally save the world. Remember that bit from the trailer where they drop The Thing from a plane? You don't see that because ITS NOT IN THE FUCKING MOVIE! I'm done.

4. Get Hard


A lot of critics commented that Get Hard is borderline racist. I disagree with that. It's definitely racist. I have no issue with comedy poking fun at anyone but the film has to be funny to get away with it. This is the usual Farrell in his late 40's just blabbing out random lines as if that's the new level of comedy. All the usual comedy beats are in there, you see the ending a mile away.

5. Tak3n 


The first film was good. It shouldn't have been, but it was. It even invented a genre (Geri-action) recently replicated by Kevin Costner (Three days to Kill) and Sean Penn (The Gunman). Taken 2 had its moments but the signs of greed were there and Taken 3 took the biscuit. The fun of the original was essentially Mills finding loved ones in Europe but the third instalment brought Neeson to L.A and made it just another action noise fest. Do you know when interviewers ask stars "if there's gonna be a sequel" and the star says "The script would have to be good." Then they come on the same show a year later and the interviewer says "what made you come back to...." and the star says "well the script was fantastic." They're lying shits.

Next week - The films that narrowly missed out on my Top Ten of 2015.

Adam Yates






Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Don't Slate A Cake And Eat It Too.

"The cake that was ordered and the cake that arrived" - Reddit User OfficialBigHead

Why we SHOULD laugh at the "hot mess" and not be shamed for it.
 
THE CAKE IS BAD.
THERE I SAID IT.
WE ALL KNOW THAT AND IT'S NOT IN DISPUTE.
BUT IT'S REALLY BAD...LIKE INDIANA JONES AND THE CRYSTAL SKULL BAD.
IT'S BEYOND SCARY...FOR THE ICING IS DARK AND FULL OF TERRORS BAD.
Facebook news feeds shared it, the Guardian shared it, Cosmo shared it as well as People Magazine, The Daily Mail and even James Burns Consulting (@jburnsconsult) with all of his 913 Twitter followers found it worthy of a mention in between consulting whoever he consults.

 
In fact, if this is your first encounter with 'the cake' then I'm afraid you're immensely unpopular online and everyone has hidden your profile from their more active social lives.

For those that wish for a unbiased recap, here it is.
A reddit post shared an image showing two contrasting pieces of cake art designed in the form of Frozen's Elsa. It was posted under the reddit sub forum r/funny and in no time at all, the proverbial hell broke loose. The viral story then took a more sombre turn when it was revealed that the bad cake was innocently copied from the good cake by a not-for-profit charity organisation called Icing Smiles who provide delicious treats for kids and families impacted by severe illnesses. Icing Smiles even wrote a heartfelt post defending the cake and the reason for it's existence.
 
As if by magic, the mood reversed and everyone and their dog was applauding the cake-fail and the reason for its creation. Icing Smiles even got in the action and explained that although the final product was "a hot mess", there were mitigating circumstances behind the final design and that they are proud of it regardless of negative opinion. The change in the majority of people's social posts is my bone of contention here.

Take @sam_Jordan80 for instance. Yesterday this was posted...

Parents order a 'Frozen' Elsa cake and end up with this... https://t.co/a5ofteVtTe
— Samantha Jordan (@Sam_Jordan80) July 6, 2015
followed by this slight alteration 24 hours later...

Turns out that the 'ugly' Elsa cake was made by a children's charity....Awwww...'https://t.co/GkwwjHIeJZ
— Samantha Jordan (@Sam_Jordan80) July 7, 2015
 
But there are some people who aren't afraid to state the obvious...

I commend that woman for her efforts, obviously, but I refuse to feel bad for laughing at something that's obviously laughable.
— ℓινι(@ohhbee) July 7, 2015
 
...and what better place to give my opinion. It is "bottom line scary" and it should never have left the darkened transit van that it was transported in. I too applaud the unfortunate creator for admitting that it was a "hot mess" but the change in opinion amongst the majority of the internet community is laughable and is actually quite terrifying in showing the unlimited power it holds in altering perceptions.
 
Take the @England tweetgate scandal earlier this week as another example. Granted it was amateurish but boil it down and it was an out of context sentence pulled from a longer more in depth article (which was included as a link) which seemed to suggest that the highly talented national women's football team's occupations were simply being mother's, daughter's and sister's. Minutes later and it was #everydaysexism heaven. The offending post was pulled down and I'm sure the moderator was promptly punished but this form of swift net justice must end before we end up apologising for everything. the art of tone is not yet available on smartphones and tablets because if it was, most of the PR disasters we see unfold would be non existent.
 
Cake-Gate started as all gates start. Someone opened it. If you don't wish to open a gate, one top tip is don't publish a picture online. Has everyone just forgotten that the internet is essentially just a massive night club and that if you do anything remotely strange or rotten in a dark corner of it, at least one other person will spot it and tell the rest of the crowd what you're up to?
 
So now I'm being told that I'm not allowed to hate the cake and that we must remember that the cake was born out of love and therefore exempt from parody and mockery.
 
I CALL BULLSHIT!
 
If I made a cake right now, I wouldn't know where to begin. It would look like the Ghostbusters Stay-Puft marshmellow man took a shit and then stepped in it. But I'm not a decorative cake maker  and I don't claim to be. The mother of #ElsaCakeFail is somewhat of a professional and for that she should be mocked. If you ordered a cake resembling a Disney Princess and you received that monstrosity, would you ask for your money back? Damn right you would. I'd ask for money even if I didn't pay for it and I won it in a charity raffle. It's bad and don't you listen to anyone who tells you it's not.

Adam Yates

Monday, 6 July 2015

Movie Review - Spy


In 2011, director Paul Feig changed the landscape for female-centric comedies with the smash hit 'Bridesmaids' and with Spy, he sticks with his muse in Melissa McCarthy and turns his attention to the James Bond trademarked secret agent genre.

McCarthy plays Susan Cooper, a timid desk agent for the CIA who essentially directs her suave field agent Bradley Fine, played by Jude Law, by way of earpiece and Periscope style camera. They both depend on each other with their heightened skills but when Fine is anything but, Cooper steps away from the desk and dons a variety of unflattering disguises to foil a plot across Europe involving a femme fatale and a suitcase nuke.

Spoof spy comedies aren't entirely a new concept in Hollywood with the likes of 'Top Secret' and the 'Austin Powers' franchise not to mention the god awful 'Johnny English' films. Spy's take on the genre does involve counts of slapstick, the pinnacle involving a scooter pursuit into heavy roadworks but for the most part, the action is stylish and rooted in post 'Brosnan Bond' reality. 

Speaking of Bond, the comparisons aren't subtle and don't pretend to be. The credits sequence is bang on the money, the gadget quartermaster full of snarky wit and Jude Law's character is not too far away from what we would have been treated to if he had gotten the role of 007 over Daniel Craig.

The secret weapon in Spy is in the casting. Rose Byrne continues to add to her comedic repertoire as the insulting villain, West Wing alumni Alison Janney assumes the semi serious role of M and there are supporting roles for Miranda Hart and Peter Serafinowicz as best friend and sleazy accomplice respectively. There is however a wildcard that this film decides to play and that card is Jason Statham. He hasn't utilised broad comedy chops this heavily before although earlier roles in 'Snatch' and 'Crank' can attest that the skills were lying under the surface ready to emerge. Those skills are 'cranked' up to 11 and at times you'll only be able to hear his hilarious lines as your eyes will be doused in tears to be able to see them grunted out. A scene where 'the stath' reels off his many heroic accomplishments is arguably the highlight of the entire movie. 



That being said, if you happen to choose to watch Spy, you are essentially saying you are a fan of Melissa McCarthy and if you are, you're unlikely to be disappointed. Her timing in delivery is a science and her charm can only be compared to current box office king Chris Pratt.

On the whole, Spy has its flaws but they don't take too much away from the finished article. At times I found the plot a bit confusing which is incredible for a spy comedy. Essentially I found myself unsure whether an essential character was good or bad. The third act also wasn't on par with the momentum with the rest of the movie. The final minor flaw is one that is becoming increasingly normal in modern movies...running time. All of Feig's directorial efforts run at around 2 hours and for a comedy that can be an extremely long period of time. Judd Apatow has the same disease albeit with much more serious symptoms and it is invariably and simply linked to the fact that because writer-directors are too close to their own material to trim the fat.

In a Nutshell

The mission is a success thanks to a great field team led by McCarthy, Byrne and Statham however logistical issues from Langley result in collateral damage.


Adam Yates