Saturday, 3 January 2015

UFC in a Nutshell

Ok, what's a UFC? Based on the picture I'd assume it stands for Underground Foot-Fetish Club? 

Not quite, although if you were this way inclined, this isn't the worst thing to watch. It stands for Ultimate Fighting Championship.

And I should care about this why?

MMA or Mixed Martial Arts as a sport is growing in popularity across the UK and abroad at an exponential rate and the UFC is the leading MMA organisation.

Don't confuse me with clever words like 'exponential' and 'across.'

Apologies. I'll speak more working class if it helps.

Yes please.

Ok. More people are hitting people legally and more people are watching it too.

You can watch it on TV!? Why didn't you say so?

The UFC hold monthly events on pay per view and the latest fight card is titled UFC 182 and is on tonight at 2am on BT Sport.

2am?! Where's it held...outside McDonald's after the clubs close?

No, it's 2am because the fight is in America so as we're generally 5 hours behind, the fights begin at 9pm (US time).

Got it. So which team should I support?

Every fighter is individual and doesn't compete for a team. However they are placed into weight classes so they compete against similarly built individuals.

So if a fatty wants to fight, they have to fight other fatties?

In a matter of speaking. However when the UFC first started, it was famous for its  "there are no rules" motto and questions were posed such as "Can a wrestler beat a boxer?" On other occasions boxers would fight sumo wrestlers (fatties) but the match ups were more about morbid curiosity rather than a genuine fighting competition.

All that sounds more fun. Show me some of that action!

Wow! Here's my money! Where can I watch this on a regular basis?

Well a lot of people didn't like the no rules bloodsport and former presedential nominee, John McCain lobbied to have it banned and the UFC had major problems finding venues to hold events and TV audiences were growing tired of the formula. They ultimately (pun intended) to introduce stricter rules and assign fighters weight classes. Since those changes, the sport has grown massively and now has overtaken Boxing and WWE as the leading 'beat the living shit out of each other' sport in the US.

I assume all these fighters are complete A-holes who take drugs and have expensive orgies or whatever the plural word for orgy is?

Quite the opposite, the behaviour of MMA fighters, on the whole, are comparable to latter day saints and Disney Channel presenters. Not much scandal seems to happen outside the ring and there is not much theatrics inside either. It seems to be quite pleasant, aside from when your face looks like this...

Ok...I'm sold. I love man on man action! 

Women fight too.

Shut the front door!? I'm staying up to watch it tonight. It may be my anniversary but I don't give a hoot! 

You can always watch it on demand.

What's that!?