There’s a new Bond film out?!
Yup, Christmas 2019.
Great! I love watching that misogynistic dinosaur bounce around the world bedding chicks and killing dicks. Is Danny Craig still 007 or have they relented to the PC brigade and cast Olivia Colman as Jennie Bond?
This will reportedly be Craig’s last outing as James Bond.
I’m going to buy my tickets right now!
Not so fast
I demand an explanation for this turn of events.
The original director due to start shooting the film has backed out.
Who was this fiend?
Danny Boyle. Director of the Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire.
I don’t watch Oscar winning arty farty films. Give me Jason Statham twatting a shark any day. Someone should make a film of the Stath twatting a shark. Google, call my agent.
Mr Boyle also made Trainspotting way back in the 90’s.
Why didn’t you say so? That film was belter. Remember when Ewan McGregor went in that toilet filled with shit. Choose life. Choose a job. Hey, maybe Ewan can choose to play the shark in my film where Jason Statham twats a shark.
Okkkkk. Anyway, the new Bond film is now in limbo because Danny left the project due to "creative differences" with the producers.
What does that mean?
Typically it means that they have wildly different ideas on how the film should play out. It could be how characters develop, the budget or the level of violence. The latest Star Wars movie sacked their directors using the same phrase.
Maybe the producers wanted to shake things up but Oh Danny Boyle wanted to...stir things up.
That’s possibly the cleverest thing you’ve ever said. Can I use that in an article I’m writing?
As long as I don’t look an idiot in the rest of it. Speaking of movies, all this talk has made me want to go and actually watch one. Seeing as I won’t be seeing 007 anytime soon, I’ll have to get my pumped up kicks elsewhere. What’s on?
There’s one called The Meg. It’s an action movie, I think you’ll find it has some...bite! *devious laugh*
That laugh seems to indicate that I’m about to be made to look like an idiot but screw it.
