Let's begin with...
Transformers : Age of Extinction
This really has reached the bottom of the barrel. I will admit that I found the first movie extremely entertaining and I also didn't mind "Dark of the Moon" too much either. This is something else. It's too loud (something I never thought I'd ever say), it's got more pointless explosions than Gaza and the human characters are supposedly there for us, the viewer to relate to, but if that's what Michael Bay thinks we act and talk like, then no wonder he couldn't speak in front of an audience.
I'm not gonna waste more time on this pile of semen so let's move on.
The Expendables 3
Any film poster that resembles the credits to a movie isn't likely to excite a potential audience. Again, similar to "Transformers" this is just throwing more and more shit at the screen and hoping it sticks. It seems like Sly asked anyone he ever met at a Gym and said "Dya wanna be in my movie? What Part? I'll just make one up for you, man." The fact that the film includes an inside joke about whyBruce Willis is absent tells you all about the script priorities. I never thought I'd say this but Antonio Banderas is the best thing about this film.
A Million Ways to Die in the West
There are moments in this film that are funny however they are too hit and miss that you just feel like you're watching a bad Family Guy episode. The kinda one where they do a 2 minute continuous joke and you're sitting there with whoever you're watching it with and you feel the urge to chuckle just to break the tension. The concept of ole time West setting mixed with moderately modern dialogue and mannerisms is also very 50/50 but in the end you just don't care.
A Long Way Down
I don't know this for certain but if I had to guess, I wouldn't imagine this was a excellent book to begin with. Nick Hornby's books have resulted in some really good films (High Fidelity, About a Boy) but this is pretty non descript. 4 people about to commit suicide, don't. That's the plot. Boring. Next.
Transcendance
Johnny Depp movies fall into two columns - the kooky characters or the straight characters. The first column give us films such as Pirates, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow where the latter offers Secret Window and The Tourist. I think you see the difference. This is a movie consistent with column two. This is from the cinematographer who is responsible for the look of the Christopher Nolan films and the attempt at epicness is on show but without the substance needed to accompany it.
Other notable crud that came out this year -
Grudge Match
Amazing Spider-Man 2
Godzilla
Next week I start my countdown of my favourite films of this year. If you couldn't care less, just nod politely.
Adam Yates
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