Arguably it's not an it but a he. He is human. Well he's Welsh so lets say half human.
Occupation?
Footballer turned global brand. Employed by Tottenham Hotspur but currently subject to a headhunting bid by Rèal Madrid.
Rèal Madrid? They're good.
Yeah. If you compared clubs to TV stations, Tottenham are BBC Three (plucky but ultimately lose their best shows to BBC1) and Madrid are Sky One (throws cash at any show that's already established, steals it and airs it even though less people will watch).
So is Gareth good or is he over the hill?
Not at all. He's not even reached his prime according to pundits. In today's market, he's totally worth the £100 million that Rèal have offered.
£100 MILLION?! I could buy 16 pairs of pants from Hollister for that and still get some change?
Ermmm.....I guess.
Don't players have contracts?
They do but they're written on invisible ink it seems as Gareth Bale has had 5 new contracts doled out in the last 5 years. His latest one runs out in 2016 hence the large bid.
Why Spain and not an English team?
Simply put, Bale's own performances have priced him out of what English clubs can afford. Add to that, the fact that Spurs don't want him lining up against them twice a year and making them look foolish to their fans who once adored him. Spain as seen as the holy grail of a footballers career due to its history and financial strengths.
Financial Strengths?! Spain are broke? I saw it on Top Gear.
As are Rèal Madrid. But they have enormous long term loans that keep them afloat. Luckily not provided by Wonga.
If Tottenham sell, what will they do with the money?
Firstly Spurs will have to...
Woahhh..Who the fuck are Spurs?
Sorry, Spurs is the nickname of Tottenham Hotspur.
Oh ok. Continue
Spurs will have to give £2 million to Southampton FC. They trained Bale and as such they receive compensation.
Sweet!
No, not sweet. Originally they were also due to receive 15% of any future sale of Bale which would have meant a minimum of £10 million however they relinquished that clause when they ran into financial difficulty a few years back. Spurs threw them a couple mil to keep them afloat and subsequently miss out on the big pay day this summer.
That's fucking sly that.
Bit funny though.
Haha yeah. So when's he off then?
The deadline for summer transfers is 31st August and Gareth has been suspiciously absent from all of Tottenham's pre season games. Of course he could stay until January but the fee would come down.
Sounds like a done deal. Is that it? Can I get on with my life now that I've given you 2 minutes of my attention? Will you stop hassling me to 'Like' and 'Share' this fucking blog?
Yes, yes and no.
Adam Yates
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