Showing posts with label Premier League. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Premier League. Show all posts

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Everton: A season in review


A perfect and somewhat overused analogy to sum up Everton's sophomore season under Roberto Martinez is 'the difficult second album.' How can you top what was accomplished the first time round when the opposition know what to expect? Fans who may have been expecting a season similar to Nirvana's fantastic 'Nevermind' were instead given Coldplay's more tepid 'A Rush of Blood to the Head.'

You don't have to be Gary Neville to analyse the change in fortunes between the last two Everton campaigns. From the lofty heights of fifth place at the end of the 13/14 season, the last venture has resulted in a disheartening 11th. A devastating -24 swing in terms of goal difference and winning an astonishing nine fewer games.

The obvious answer to pose for this dip in form is also an overused one...

Playing in the Europa League.

Tell that to Tottenham Hotspur who not only played the exact number of games in their european adventure but improved upon their domestic position 12 months prior. Sevilla last week retained the Europa League crown and yet still managed to finish 5th in La Liga. The hot theory amongst pundits concerning teams not wanting to participate in a European run resulting in inconsistent form is irritating and insulting to those who don't reside in the top four year in year out.

Back to the toffees whose season's only highlight ironically WAS their relatively strong European run which was eventually cut short at the last-16 stage with an ridiculously poor outing away to Dynamo Kiev. Despite Everton missing out on the quarter finals and beyond, the tournaments top scorer was a blue. Lukaku's eight goals was enough to secure the crown which is proof of our dominance in the group stages which made the eventual exit all the more painful.

Winding our way back to Summer 2014 and things were in very good shape and the Blue half of Liverpool were enjoying a rare sight of a manager doing his deals early. In came the familiar faces of Lukaku and Gareth Barry who had already proved themselves on loan. One for the future, Muhamed Bešić was signed after his impressive showings at the World Cup with Bosnia and Herzegovina.

However by the end of the first month, it was clear where the problems lay. Defence. Everton equalled the worst defensive start over three games letting in 10 goals. Martinez began losing patience in Sylvain Distin, which ultimately led to him being frozen out the team. The English backbone of Baines and Jagielka weren't firing on all cylinders and the fresh faced John Stones was showing raw talent albeit with occasional lapses in decision making under pressure. The defensive errors dropped slightly as the season progressed but the damage was done and this is where strength needs to be added for the upcoming 15/16 season.

Further up the field, things were much brighter. The aforementioned Lukaku finally unpacked his bags at a cost of £28 million and he was shortly followed by Samuel Eto'o on a free transfer. Fans had a reason to believe and with an energetic Mirallas and a resilient Steven Naismith, goals weren't far away. Even Jagielka managed six in all competitions including a season defining equaliser against Liverpool in the Merseyside derby.

Meanwhile, the sensible and exciting passing style from Martinez's first season turned into simply sensible. At times, Goodison Park was unusually vocally critical of this methodology especially as it failed to turn into Premier League points. The Goodison faithful witnessed 7 home runs over the course of the season compared to 13 the year prior and they made it clear vocally that they had noticed. 

What was especially frustrating is that the squad could be considered one of the best in recent years however there were some underachievers including a certain future England captain. As well as Aiden McGeady, Ross Barkley never reached his potential at any point during the campaign. The pundits started making their feelings known and fans began to have a go when Ross made runs at the defence and lost possession.

In the latter half of the season, Everton found a certain level of form but the continued success in Europe always played on their minds. Understandably, finishing 11th isn't all that attractive to the squad's star talent and there isn't a day that seems to go by without the words "sources suggest" followed by either Lukaku, Mirallas or James McCarthy's name. 

Graffiti had also begun cropping up on the side of Goodison asking for the sacking of Martinez but those grumbles are in the minority and I, like many others,  believe that this season was a blip, a pretty big blip but one none the less.








Friday, 5 June 2015

Premier League Goes Bare!




The Premier League announced today that England's top division will be sponsorless after its current deal with Barclays concludes next season. From 2016/17, The Premier League will be the official title of the top flight, the first time it has been without a sponsor since its inaugural season back in 1992.

Sources suggest it's a strategic move to create a 'clean brand' in line with most U.S. sporting organisations such as the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball however it will still pinch the financial pocket. The last deal made with Barclays resulted in a £120 million windfall for the Premier League and it's uncertain whether this is a permanent move or simply a temporary one until a suitable and respected brand can be negotiated with.

With that in mind, here are five potential sponsors that would jump at the chance at being the masthead to the world's most watched football league.

Sports Direct Premier League

Funded by a £200 million loan paid through Rangers PLC, Sports Direct founder Mike Ashley would take the Premiership to another level. Match day mascots would be replaced by zero hour Sports Direct staff who are available at an hours notice. 

FIFA Premiership

The one thing FIFA needs right now is positive press and getting behind the world's greatest league is a plum move.
Of course there would be some requirements that are non-negotiable.
All newly promoted teams would play their home games in Dubai to expand the worldwide market, all disciplinary hearings would be resolved between 12-18 months and any side that commits a handball must pay £5 million euros to the opposing team to avoid future legal ramifications.

The ITVBe Premmie

The recently launched ITV spinoff channel has not reached the echelons of success since its birth in October 2014. A lucrative sponsorship deal would be a potential goldmine for ITV and also tap into a new market of football fans to its existing and predominantly female audience. Of course the Saturday night highlights programme da' Premmie would be removed from the safe hands of the BBC and placed on the ITVBe channel at the earlier time of 5.15pm presented by Christine Bleakley and Joey Essex. The programme will be followed by the spin off show More of da' Premmie where instead of the actual games, the fly on the wall show focusses on the viewers of the earlier Premmie show and the everyday conflicts that occur. Think Gogglebox but not Gogglebox for legal reasons.

Disney League Soccer

The quickest and boldest revamp in the leagues history sees a major rebranding campaign as the Premier League becomes the DLS, all teams are assigned an official Disney Mascot and nickname. All team specific sponsorship deals involving alcohol are banned as is spitting, one footed tackles, bad or moderate language and chewing gum. However ticket prices are lowered, younger fans are encouraged and the football itself is resized appropriately.





Saturday, 3 August 2013

Bonus - Bale in a Nutshell




Ok let's begin...WTF is a Gareth Bale?

Arguably it's not an it but a he. He is human. Well he's Welsh so lets say half human.

Occupation?

Footballer turned global brand. Employed by Tottenham Hotspur but currently subject to a headhunting bid by Rèal Madrid.

Rèal Madrid? They're good.

Yeah. If you compared clubs to TV stations, Tottenham are BBC Three (plucky but ultimately lose their best shows to BBC1) and Madrid are Sky One (throws cash at any show that's already established, steals it and airs it even though less people will watch).

So is Gareth good or is he over the hill?

Not at all. He's not even reached his prime according to pundits. In today's market, he's totally worth the £100 million that Rèal have offered.

£100 MILLION?! I could buy 16 pairs of pants from Hollister for that and still get some change?

Ermmm.....I guess.

Don't players have contracts?

They do but they're written on invisible ink it seems as Gareth Bale has had 5 new contracts doled out in the last 5 years. His latest one runs out in 2016 hence the large bid.

Why Spain and not an English team?

Simply put, Bale's own performances have priced him out of what English clubs can afford. Add to that, the fact that Spurs don't want him lining up against them twice a year and making them look foolish to their fans who once adored him. Spain as seen as the holy grail of a footballers career due to its history and financial strengths.

Financial Strengths?! Spain are broke? I saw it on Top Gear.

As are Rèal Madrid. But they have enormous long term loans that keep them afloat. Luckily not provided by Wonga.

If Tottenham sell, what will they do with the money?

Firstly Spurs will have to...

Woahhh..Who the fuck are Spurs?

Sorry, Spurs is the nickname of Tottenham Hotspur.

Oh ok. Continue

Spurs will have to give £2 million to Southampton FC. They trained Bale and as such they receive compensation.

Sweet!

No, not sweet. Originally they were also due to receive 15% of any future sale of Bale which would have meant a minimum of £10 million however they relinquished that clause when they ran into financial difficulty a few years back. Spurs threw them a couple mil to keep them afloat and subsequently miss out on the big pay day this summer.

That's fucking sly that.

Bit funny though.

Haha yeah. So when's he off then?

The deadline for summer transfers is 31st August and Gareth has been suspiciously absent from all of Tottenham's pre season games. Of course he could stay until January but the fee would come down.

Sounds like a done deal. Is that it? Can I get on with my life now that I've given you 2 minutes of my attention? Will you stop hassling me to 'Like' and 'Share' this fucking blog?

Yes, yes and no.

Adam Yates